Article Overview: Alaska Jokes
Welcome, all you adventurers, you jokesters, and you silly comedy loving fools, to the icy realms of Alaska jokes! Grab your parkas and your mosquito repellent because we’re diving headfirst into a hilarious haven of Alaska humor. So, bundle up and get ready to laugh until your teeth chatter as we explore the wild and wacky side of the Last Frontier!
Why Trust Us
AlaskaExplored is THE DESTINATION for all things Alaska. Wether you’re planning an epic trip to the last frontier, or you’re just in the mood for some funny Alaska jokes, we got you covered. Here at AlaskaExplored.com you’ll find expert tips, detailed guides, stunning photographs, and so much more.
Together AlaskaExplored has more than twenty years of experience traveling, working, and exploring the beautifully rugged, 49th state. Working in television has taken us all around the world, and no place more than Alaska. During our time here we’ve documented countless stories from every corner and crevasse of the state. We’ve helped showcase the grandeur of this wild place for National Geographic, Discovery, Disney, Animal Planet, and more. Now we want to share our knowledge and real life experiences with you!
My Experience with Alaska Jokes
I’ve spent the majority of my career in the remote stretches of the Alaskan bush. While it’s been one hell of an advenutre, it hasn’t always been glamorous. Often times I have to rely on humor to get me through the more arduous parts of filming television in Alaska. Alaska jokes, and joking about how silly our job is helps me and my crews to push on.
Wether it’s nagging mosquitos sucking my blood through my jeans, or my fingers being so frozen they can barely hit the record button; a good Alaska joke can get my through the day. A lot of these jokes have, and I hope they help bring a smile to you as well.
Alaska Jokes about Weather
Alaska’s extreme weather, ranging from freezing temperatures to sudden bursts of sunshine, lends itself to a plethora of humorous anecdotes and jokes. We hope you enjoy these Alaska jokes about weather.
- What is Alaska’s offical state Novel? “Fifty Shades of Grey“
- Why did the glacier go to therapy? It had a meltdown.
- I went to a fancy restaurant in Alaska. The waiter asked me if I wanted my steak rare, medium, or well done. I said “Doesn’t matter, it’ll be frozen by the time I get it“
- What did the Alaskan say when he won the lottery? “Time to move to Florida“
- How did the Alaskan get frost bite? He was walking around brrrrrrrfooted
- Why do they have so many Taco Bells in Alaska? Because everyone loves brrrrrrrritos
- What do you call an Alaskan cat on ice? Purr-ma-frost
- How do Alaskans get a great upper body workout? By shoveling their driveways
Alaska Jokes about Wildlife
Alaska is full of wildlife, from bears to moose to whales, theres no shortage of crazy critters in the last frontier. So in their honor here are some fun ways to pick fun at them with these Alaska jokes about wildlife:
- What do you call fifty penguins in Alaska? Lost….Really Lost! (penguins live in Antarctica)
- “It’s important to remember your survival training when hiking in Alaska: Run like hell and hope your faster than your friend!”
- What song do Alaskans sing when they get excited? “Who let the sled dogs out?! Who, who who“
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? FSH
- Why do Alaskans go fishing? For the Halibut (hell of it)
- Why did the Halibut blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom
Sarah Palin Jokes
If you’re from Alaska you’ve probably heard enough Alaska jokes about Sarah Palin, but for everyone else she remains an infamous figure and an endless source of humor. Here are some Alaska jokes about the one time vice presidential candidate.
- What does Sarah Palin do when she’s having marriage troubles? She sends her husband hunting with Dick Cheney
- Why do Alaskan’s want Russia to hold the next Olympics? Because if you have Sarah Palin’s eyesight you can watch the games from home
- Sarah Palin said that God helped Trump win the presidential election. When he heard this, a furious Satan said, “Don’t I get credit for anything?” –Conan O’Brien
- Sarah Palin gave a speech in South Korea. Just what the Koreans needed: Two crazy dictators in fashionable lady’s glasses. –Conan O’Brien
- Who did President Obama thank first for helping him win the 2008 election? Sarah Palin
- What’s Sarah Palin’s favorite water sport? Para sailing
For a full breakdown of all the famous folks from Alaska, check out our article: 49th State Icons: Celebrating the Famous People from Alaska
That’s all the Alaska jokes about Sarah Palin we wanna do. We don’t wanna get in trouble like David letterman. Yeah, apparently he went too far with his Alaska jokes.
More Alaska Jokes
Here are some Alaska jokes:
- A female’s perspective on dating in Alaska: The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
- Nobody in Alaska dates during the winter, its hard to break the ice.
- How do you tick off a Texan obsessed with being the biggest? Slice Alaska in two, and watch ’em drop to third
- What do Alaskans order at McDonalds? Icberg-ers and fries.
- I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
- Dad: What’s the capital of Alaska? Me: Juneau. Dad: No, I don’t. That’s why I’m asking you.
Jeff Foxworhy-esc Alaska Jokes
Jeff fox worthy became famous for his “You might be a red-neck if..” jokes. Here’s a few Alaska jokes in the same vein. You might be an Alaskan if…
- You might be an Alaskan if… you learned to swim indoors
- You might be an Alaskan if… an eagle has stolen your pet
- You might be an Alaskan if… you wake up from a nap and have no idea if it’s AM or PM
- You might be an Alaskan if… you owe more money on your snow-machine than your car
- You might be an Alaskan if… your four seasons are: 1. Almost Winter 2. Winter 3. Still Winter 4. Construction
- You might be an Alaskan if… your “nice” boots are Xtra Tuffs
- You might be an Alaskan if… you wear sunglasses at 10pm
- You might be an Alaskan if… the trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer
- You might be an Alaskan if… you design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit
- You might be an Alaskan if… you have more than one favorite recipe for moose meat
- You might be an Alaskan if… your idea of sexy lingerie is fleece socks and a flannel shirt with 2 buttons
- You might be an Alaskan if… driving in the winter is easier because the potholes are filled with snow
- You might be an Alaskan if… you’ve ever covered your bedroom windows with aluminum foil
- You might be an Alaskan if… your toilet seat is made out of styrofoam
Long Form Story Alaska Jokes
Here are some good Alaska Jokes that you can embellish and make your own. Kill some time telling these Alaska jokes on a hike or around your campfire.
a “Real Man” Alaska Joke
So, there’s this macho man, let’s call him Bob, who finds himself in Alaska on a business trip. He saunters into a local bar, chest puffed out, boasting about how everything’s bigger, better, and tougher where he’s from. Well, the Alaskan locals aren’t having any of it.
One of them leans over and says, “Hey, Bob, in Alaska, you ain’t considered a REAL MAN unless you can chug a fifth of whiskey, wrestle a bear, and make love to a local gal all in one day.” Bob, never one to back down from a challenge, nods with a grin and grabs the bottle, gulps it down like tap water. Then, with a shaky swagger, he follows the locals into the woods.
They tell him they can hear a bear nearby, and Bob, with a fearless gleam in his eye, charges in. Half an hour later, Bob staggers out, clothes in tatters, blood dripping from different cuts and bites. He looks at the locals and slurs, “Alright, where’s this local lady I’m supposed to wrestle?”
Alaska Recreational PSA joke
As you prepare for your outdoor adventures this summer, the Alaska Recreational Department would like to remind you of some important safety measures, especially when venturing into bear country.
When hiking in areas known to inhabit various bear species, including brown and black bears, it is recommended to wear small bells on your clothing. These bells serve as an audible warning to most bears, alerting them to your presence and reducing the likelihood of unexpected encounters.
However, it’s crucial to note that Grizzly Bears, also known as Ursus arctos horribilis, may not be deterred by these bells. Therefore, while enjoying your scenic hikes, please remain vigilant and watch for signs of Grizzly activity. One telltale sign of Grizzly activity is the presence of bear scat along the trail. Grizzly Bear droppings can be identified by the distinct shine of tiny bells through the feces.
Your safety is our top priority, and by following these guidelines and staying informed, we can ensure a memorable and secure outdoor experience for all.